OPERATION SURPRISE (ALMOST SUCCESSFUL)

Tatiana had one job: surprise Hazel.




Not rocket science. Just show up unannounced, kiss her wife, win all the points.

To plan it, she contacted Green. Innocently. Strategically.
“I am comiiiiiiiiiing,” she texted, hoping to coordinate behind Hazel’s back.

But alas... not all secret missions survive the Green filter.

Green, in a moment of pure cosmic confusion (24/7) and distracted by thoughts of another woman with a similar name, replied with absolute enthusiasm:

“Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh faster ....finally I can kiss my bitch!”

Oops.

Realizing the accidental exposure, Green’s meltdown was swift and theatrical:

“Oh no... what have I done?! I replied to you by mistake,?!
Hazel's going to kill me, I just know it.
It wasn’t on purpose, it was just... enthusiasm!
Please, don’t tell her—no wait, you already did, didn’t you?
I’m doomed. Tell her I’m sorry.
Deeply sorry.
Also... still laughing. But in fear!”

Tati’s dry reply?

“I only wrote to you so you wouldn’t tell Hazel about my surprise.
Now she knows about it… 🫠🫠🫠”

But the universe was merciful. Hazel wasn’t mad.

“One of the biggest reasons why I'm here is you,” Tati said.
Enough to melt even the coldest courtroom heart.

Hazel was surprised, and for once, let herself be carried away — the first of many stops together.
From there? Helsinki, Tromsø, Stockholm, and finally Melbourne.
Like a rogue chasing a convoy of priceless jewels… with all the thrill, none of the peril, and plenty of smooches.

It’s not every day your partner crosses hemispheres for you —
but then again, Tatiana isn’t exactly your average lover.
Fresh off the road and technically still on the run, she slipped away from whatever chaos she left behind — three cities, three warrants, same old Tati — only to spend some time together.

And because Hazel is just as cunning and stubborn as Tati, she answered with perfect confidence:
“I’m not surprised they all want you, babe… but now you’re stuck with me, and they’ll have to wait their turn.”

Green, still alive and impossibly smug, hovered nearby, watching.
“Damn… she looked more surprised than mad,” he muttered, voice shaking with amusement. “I was bracing for impact, but somehow… I’m still standing. I’ll just sit over here watching you kiss.” 

Tatiana shook her head, laughing along, exclaiming, “You are totally crazy!” Her laughter rang out, warm and infectious.

Hazel didn’t disagree. She just added,
“Green, hands off my bitch… get your own trouble!”


Note 1: No secret missions were truly harmed in the making of this disaster. Just Green’s nerves.


Note 2: Poor Green — first Hazel, then Kunto… and he still thinks he’s winning

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