SISTERS OF ST. ROCK BACKSTORIES (AND OTHER TALES)

Letizia and Olimpia had a whole notebook of “potential family upgrades,” and “Vinum Est Veritas” was, hilariously, the least dangerous one. Still enough to scandalize the family for an entire summer season. "Leti’, do you remember when we were, what—sixteen? And decided my family needed more laughter and Chianti?" Olimpia grinned, tossing a lazy glance her way. "One month after we met—just thirty days of reckless obsession, and suddenly we were plotting a heraldic coup." And plot they did. They actually replaced the Colonna Aldobrandi Normanni di Anguillara Sabazia family motto with: "Vinum Est Veritas. Etiam in Mane."    Wine is truth. Even in the morning. “We spent an entire weekend trying to pick it,” Olimpia nudged Letizia’s knee, smirking. “Remember? That scroll of fake Latin mottos—voting like it was Eurovision.” Letizia laughed. “We were so serious. Like, ‘This is history in the making.’ I still have the shortlist somewhere...” - “Semper Late, Sempe...

  The Official Groupie Application – v2.1  Curated by Kunto. For Quality Control Purposes Only.   Name: Julian Breeze   Nickname: “The Gentleman Nomad”   Email: cleansteps@checkmate.org   Height: 181 cm   Weight: 78 kg   Energy Level:   ☑ Moderate (but claims he's “unstoppable after 6 AM jogs and samba warm-ups”)   Haircut:   ☑ Crisp and calculated (like his chess strategy)     Who is your hairdresser?   ☐ Mum   ☐ Dog groomer   ☐ Edward Scissorhands   ☐ Famous Stylist   ☑ Cheap Stylist who gives post-shampoo affirmations     Personal Hygiene – How often do you wash?   ☐ Only at Christmas   ☐ When I go to the beach   ☐ 1 to 3 times per week   ☑ 1 to 3 times per day (and brags about it like it’s a superpower)     Favorite Games (choose all that apply):   ☐ Poponopoli   ☐ Twister   ☐ Hide a...

  The Official Groupie Application – v2.1  Curated by Kunto. For Quality Control Purposes Only.     Name: Brad Flexington  Nickname: “Big B” / The Mirror Whisperer   Email: proteinlover190@flexmail.com   Height: 190 cm   Weight: 89 kg of pure gym ego   Energy Level:   ☑ Moderate (unless there’s a mirror nearby—then it spikes)   Haircut:   ☑ Cow-licked elegance (claims it's “Italian stallion vibes”)     Who is your hairdresser?   ☐ Mum   ☐ Dog groomer   ☐ Edward Scissorhands   ☐ Famous Stylist   ☑ Cheap Stylist who also sells protein bars     Personal Hygiene – How often do you wash?   ☐ Only at Christmas   ☐ When I go to the beach   ☐ 1 to 3 times per week   ☑ 1 to 3 times per day (and always drenched in cologne that says “I’m here before you even see me”)   Favorite Games (choose all that apply): ...

Tatiana had one job: surprise Hazel. Not rocket science. Just show up unannounced, kiss her wife, win all the points. To plan it, she contacted Green. Innocently. Strategically. “I am comiiiiiiiiiing,” she texted, hoping to coordinate behind Hazel’s back. But alas... not all secret missions survive the Green filter. Green, in a moment of pure cosmic confusion (24/7) and distracted by thoughts of another woman with a similar name, replied with absolute enthusiasm: “Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh faster .... finally I can kiss my bitch!” Oops. Realizing the accidental exposure, Green’s meltdown was swift and theatrical: “Oh no... what have I done?! I replied to you by mistake,?! Hazel's going to kill me, I just know it. It wasn’t on purpose, it was just... enthusiasm! Please, don’t tell her—no wait, you already did, didn’t you? I’m doomed. Tell her I’m sorry. Deeply sorry. Also... still laughing. But in fear!” Tati’s dry reply? “I only wrote to you so you wouldn’t tell Hazel abo...

Expect irregularly regular updates whenever the drama twitches or someone shifts the camera angle. (What happens in Popmundo stays in Popmundo, but sometimes the drama just won’t fit! 😄)   Our life’s an open book—feel free to flip through if you’ve got some time to kill. Kunto’s back to full-on jealous mode, and yep, the wedding is officially on the calendar.  The band St. Rock is slowly waking up from its nap—recording sessions booked and new songs in the oven.  Hazel’s still bitter about losing that court case—she knew it was a lost cause, but Kunto, master flatterer, convinced her she was the legal genius who’d pull it off. She didn’t. Now she’s mad because that loss is a black mark on her résumé, and she’s got bigger fish to fry—like tracking down a mysterious  hypnotist straight out of a thriller. Tatiana, Hazel's wife,  landed in Melbourne for some rare quality time with Hazel and reunions like this are about as common as a solar eclipse. Oh, and did...

  The Official Groupie Application – v2.1 Curated by Kunto. For Quality Control Purposes Only.  Name: Noah Surname: Twist Email:  noahtwist@outoflook.com Height: 168 cm Weight: 94 kg Energy Level: ☑ Low — like a sloth in a hammock (tested on a real circus machine and failed 0/10) Haircut Style: ☑ Done by Mum (with kitchen scissors) ☐ Dog groomer special ☐ Edward Scissorhands original ☐ Famous Stylist ☐ Cheap Stylist who accepts coupons and baked goods Personal Hygiene – How often do you wash? ☐ Only at Christmas  ☐ When I go to the beach and the waves do most of the work ☑ 1 to 3 times per week (so Mum doesn’t worry) ☐ 1 to 3 times per day ☐ 1 to 3 times per month — self-lubricating skin Favorite Games (tick all that apply): ☑ Monopoly ☐ Card Games ☐ Twister  ☐ Bocce game (no double meaning intended) ☐ Billiards ☐ Hide and Seek ☐ Ring-around-the-rosy  Humor Evaluation (Mandatory): Q: Tell us a joke. A m...

  Kunto had returned home with all the grace of a stray cat who’d just discovered he now owned two food bowls, a luxury couch, and a shared wife. On paper, the three-way marriage with Letizia and Olimpia looked like a shimmering beacon of modern, enlightened polyamory. It wasn’t new territory — back in the day, Kunto, Olimpia, and Letizia had played a civilized game of “if I don’t see it, it doesn’t exist.” But after months away, the chill, do-whatever-you-want husband was no more. While dodging international chaos, Kunto kept one eye glued to scandal blogs. Every time he saw “Letizia,” “Olimpia,” and “unexplained noises” in the same headline, he aged five years. His imagination filled in the rest — always with him missing out. And now that he was back, the jealous worm in his chest had grown teeth. So, on one of those window-rattling stormy nights, Green Peace — as usual — had taken shelter in the warmest place available: Olimpia’s thighs. [Backstage,  some days before the ce...

  Statement prepared and read by Hazel Nuss, Independent Legal Counsel and Unbiased, Incorruptible Witness to the Newlyweds In the heart of the arid Desert, where ancient secrets whisper with the wind, an extraordinary… union  unfolds. ( we can say union, the word is legally accurate. ) Kunto, Letizia, and Olimpia have you come together? — by your own choice? — agreeing on a mutually beneficial pact that will, with some luck, not end in blood, scandal, or spontaneous duels?  (Letizia might still consider them a bonus and say ''no'') In this  celebration of chaos, passion, and unbreakable bonds, today these three defy convention, pledging their lives together once again amidst swirling sands and mysterious coffee beans rites. This triad vows not only —" ( Hazel pauses dramatically, then furtively spells out the word 'love' in sign language, glancing sideways to make sure Letizia isn’t watching ) "— but also survival in a world as unpredictable a...

  Before the International Court of Sentimental Affairs (Division of Temporary Deaths) "Honourable judges, my client, Mr. Kunto Balle, was never truly dead... technically speaking. He was merely engaged in a covert operation that required his temporary removal from all official records of existence. Therefore, the death certificate must be deemed null and void, as should the dissolution of his marriages to Ms. Olimpia and Ms. Letizia. According to Article 42-bis of the Popomundian Affection Code, Section 7, ‘temporary vital suspension shall not constitute sufficient grounds for bond dissolution if the individual returns within 999 days of the presumed departure.’ I therefore petition this Court to immediately reinstate both marriages, retroactively, and to grant my client the right to a welcome-back kiss and a quick espresso, as provided under the Popomundian Marital Protocol in cases of unexpected resurrection.” Witnesses for the defence: Grand Master of the Cult of the Mismatche...

  it wasn’t really our place yet. We’d just rented a cheap little basement — nothing fancy. Olimpia took the bed that night, used to the comforts of her parents’ home. I wasn’t about to argue, since she was the one footing the bill. She’d said: You can take the couch, but tomorrow you’ll wake up in my bed anyway. Cocky. Annoying. Correct. And no—it wasn’t for the reason you’re picturing. But sure, believe what you want. I’m not here to ruin your cheap imagination. Back then, we weren’t a couple. Not yet. But if you’re waiting for the spoiler—yeah, after that night things got real hot. No slow burn, no awkward flirting. Just two explosions in a small room and suddenly, there was no going back. Olimpia was neat, methodical, the human embodiment of a metronome. Sheet music lined up like soldiers, pens all standing at attention in a glass. Me? I lived in piles. Piles of clothes. Piles of ideas. Piles of trouble. Yet somehow, our worlds clicked—like two puzzle pieces tha...